I feel I’ve missed out on what could have been a beautiful love story today!😩💔
So, I went to Chicken Republic to get a refuel pack, the 500 naira pack (because I cannot bear to spend an extra 300 naira on a small conceited salad and a dwarf fanta when I can easily buy ugu for 50 naira, Carrot 50 naira and Tatashi 70 naira and chew till my jaws freeze😒).
I was still at my end of the long table negotiating with the lady behind the waiter and trying to prove to her that the corruption in Nigeria started when they decided to start giving only drumsticks or wings to those of us who bought the 500 naira pack and the choicer parts to those who bought the 800 naira refuel pack. I mean, why discriminate against us? This is wrong on all levels!😒
I was on the verge of starting the civil service war chant : “soli soli soli…. Solidarity foreeeeeeever, we shall always fight for our rights”… when my attention was caught by another client at the extreme pleading that they reduce her chicken portion because she couldn’t finish it😲. A slender young woman with an innocent demeanour. And before her was a portion of chicken with an overwhelming self respect. And there I was seeking for an extension of my chicken tenancy.
I quickly approached the lady and was like “hello (the brother shaggy way), hawaa you?” Can I help you solve this problem of chicken intimidation?
I am a human rights activist for chicken and I can’t stand and watch them intimidate you. So, we could instruct them to partition this chicken for us, I would clamp down on the other “ruder” portion and show it the stuff I’m made of😡. She giggled heartily and was like “yeah, sure”.
Y’all know the rest!😉
But no, it did not happen, the rest of the conversation happened only in my head😞, home training dinnur gree me. I walked out with my underachieving chicken, regretting all I could have done if not for home training. I feel I have missed out on what could have been a perfect love story💔. The toast on our wedding card would have been : “On a Partitioned Chicken, our love was ignited, may no wings and drumsticks put asunder”.