Maths got jokes, for real.

It’s a joke told by a nerd. So as you’d expect, it’s a terrible humourless joke but a joke none the less. I’d tell you why.

Lately, I’ve been trying to gobble up some quick lessons on maths because I intend sitting for the GRE. And I have found that a lot of the “it cannot go” which we yelled at elementary school was aimed at preserving the stability of our innocent, milk-filled, prepubertal brains. God bless those teachers because right now, all those “it cannot go(s)” are going o. Infact, they are going too quickly!

For instance,an entire book could be written on the properties of zero as a number. Isn’t it ironic that zero, which we innocently called “nothing” in elementary school has so much properties. “Nothing has properties” even as just a basic grammatical expression, it triggers headaches. Did you also know that 0 is an even number? Well yes, it is. So, it can be divided by two then, right? Yes, according to Mathematics. What then is the result of this division? You divide zero by two to give us what? Another zero or half a zero? Basically, the enormity of the nothingness is reduced by half?😂 So this is to say that two containers can be empty but not in equal proportions. Hence, the emptiness of one container could be twice that of another. So, how then do we measure the quantity of nothingness to know which is half and which is total emptiness? I told you, Maths is a humourless comedy!😂

Another rule says that it’s a mathematical crime to have 0 as a denominator. In other words, you can’t have a fraction with zero as the number under the division sign. It’s a mathematical crime, call it a calculated felony if you like😉. Zero must never be seen to be dividing anything, not even another zero. Now, I ask, since our understanding of divison is that a given quantity is shared by the number beneath it, should it not hold true that if a quantity is divided by nothing (a.k.a 0) the quantity remains whole and the same? You wish! The fathers of mathematics swore in their anger that we must call such expressions “undefined”. Why? I have absolutely no idea.